i broke my promise!

oh my God..! i thought i can do it but the opposite happened..In my previous blog, i promise myself to forget the guy I think I'm falling in love with.. It's simply because things may seem very complicated if i'll say what I feel..but i think the result just went worst! ='(

i think it became more complicated because the more i'm hiding it, the more i'm falling in love with him..huhuhu! i really don't want this kind of feeling because it can maybe ruin our friendship.. what if he doesn't feel the same way? How can i deal with it?! huhuhu! i'm really out of mind this past few days.. tsk tsk tsk..!

I really felt hurt when i saw him with other girl.. yes, i know that i don't have any right to feel that way but tears just fell down my face that moment.. I know he was also shocked when he saw me..but atleast i've known & seen the reality! It really hurts..huhuhu! but i should not be a hindrance to his happiness, so if he really wants the girl I saw he was with then I'll be happy for him,,even if it relly hurts inside!

I've already told some of my friends about this & they all got one advice for me..>>"get real and say what i feel!"..hmmp.. easy to say but very hard to do! =(

well, one thing is for sure.. God knows what's best for me..so i think, i'll just let things happen just the way it is..If i get hurt in the process, it's my fault! I just want to be happy and if it will be its consequence, then let it be..!

>>>> cez <<<<<